A tireless advocate

I've been spending a lot of time lately just breathing in all of the good energy around me. In fact it was just a week ago that I was blogging about how great life is, I truly felt life's blessings. I felt the warmth of the sun on my face and it warmed me all the way through. ....only a week and so much has changed. The warmth I feel now is of a completely different nature. While I was enjoying the suns rays cancer quietly tiptoed back into my life.

There is an anger that runs through me today like none I've ever felt before. I feel like screaming but I have no idea where to direct my anger, so it sits inside and causes my body to ache. Today is the anniversary of my father-in-law Joe's stem cell transplant, one year and he is doing wonderful. Just as he is back on track I received the news that my mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

Beyond the anger there are questions. Why? Certainly after spending the last two years immersed in the converation of cancer we've paid our dues. Why now? Why her? My mom's answer to that question... "why not me? I'm no more special then anyone else." But see this is where we disagree because I happen to think she IS special. There is no one more supportive of me and my siblings. She is the first person to visit a sick relative or family member in the hospital and daily stay by their side. She is the tireless advocate who never gives up on a cause she believes in. She is the helping hand who's spent the last several months painting for hours at my new studio. She is the crazy mother who never misses a moment to pester me about grandchildren. :) She is everything.

The anger is still fresh and burning now, but I'm working on moving in the direction of hope and optimism. I know it's my turn to be her advocate and I just hope that I can come close to doing the role justice.

**** I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all of you who commented, emailed me directly or picked up the phone to call. I am beyond lucky to have such amazing clients. For so many of you to have taken the time to share your words, forward on your breast cancer resoures and pass on your words of encouragement is truly touching. And to the person who left a paper hug and chocolate in my mailbox... thank you. You made my day a whole lot brighter. :)